How do you testify to them the grim, beautiful reality of passing away–how we never knew the love of King enough to have perceived–without interpretation and with interpretation–the passing away which makes so much sense in GOD that it is the definition of Insanity?
This is the question in my early morning. This is the dwelling in my reality. I am a woman scorned. I’m always too ugly to deal with and too sane to get rid of.
I can’t remember. I said I cannot remember. And just as I said I can see-I can see-I can see-in November of 2008 one early morning when weeping was realized to have been my solid crushing, so yesterday night I couldn’t do anything but say I can’t remember-I can’t remember-I can’t remember-I can’t remember and then the horror of my womanhood burst forth spilling all over the bathtub floor like seed from the inhumanely cruel male because here I was again; that Eve alone in my own alone-ness where Jesus reaches me and I kept rightfully, yet fully in love, saying, what did I do wrong? What did I do wrong? They never told me what I did wrong? They never told me what I did wrong? What did I do wrong?
And the cascading of the reality of innocence awash upon the shores of bloody, hellish sword use (Revelation 13 realities here for after all, if we use one–and I have with no qualms whatsoever used four, then it must needs be used upon us…….) came to an end.
For me. And He did it. My Love did it. He allowed a sword to be used on Him in the place that should have never betrayed Him: the Protestant Church.
You, the Insane Second Beast, did it to Him and I was powerless; I was a woman; I turned into a woman for Him that was horrific in hell; in the sight of God Father.
Don’t you remember? I’m the Little Girl who remained in hell one time with Daddy God Father and that was the pleasing of Him so that the murder of Him could be accomplished while I was reduced to the Tara Ann who was screaming silently for a 51 year living of a life gone in a 42 year old woman who is the mother of my seed saying: I can’t remember and what did I do wrong?
There are no answers. There are no questions. There are no tears–I couldn’t cry in this cacophony of love. It is a miraculous place. So don’t define it. Just take the allegory of a young woman named Eara Davis Beaty and put it in your pocket of Grave American Soul-Living. And forget about Jesus and me. We are at peace. That is my testimony true today.
*Smile* Don’t expect me to change though because you want to know something? It doesn’t matter the sin out there, love never fails and women are women, true Women of God are true women. We get our dead back. Yes, we do. Men are men, true Men of God the world over are they whom the world is never worthy of–just like my Jesus.
It makes no sense the GOD way. I didn’t think in my reduction last night as the pain flowed freely, fearlessly, and tirelessly from my inner being–I didn’t think on this earth–but I instinctively knew how GOD shouldn’t reach me here but that HE most certainly would reach me here because I always free-faith-fall in love with HIM, and so the last utterance of this stupid woman scorned wholly honest was simply the truth: and yet, with God, all things are possible. Ah now; that is where I always return: to all things being impossibly possible with God Father and in Jesus Name, amen.
Goodbye world. I’m solidly where I began forevermore. And GOD knows but you never did. I’m so glad for this because while I love humans, I never trusted them holistically. *shrug*
It happened in 2008, late, or perhaps a little after that. One day I looked up from the side of my stupid little Texas inheritance. It was just past the drain field. I was probably watering something or picking up trash and debris. Anyway…..I stood up and looked ahead to Weir Loop and Jesus came up in the Spirit Life and not in the flesh life. But I’m one of those: I see both and live there while nobody believes me.
Jesus came up so gently from behind and stood tall beside me. He quietly took my hand on the right side and looked out with me. I told someone. They always deny my true testimony. They are always too busy, too right, and too in love with themselves in America to believe my true testimony that gently keeps me sane. Jesus and I still stand there in the spirit life.
As for me, I smiled there, and then, I Started a Joke by the Bee Gees while everyone just kept dying, I kept crying, and that is that. I started a joke and nobody laughed with me. They laughed at me lying in the street with two dead prophets (Revelation 11).
It came to pass, and now it has. I will always stand there with Jesus Christ looking out to Weir Loop in Jesus Name, and all glory to GOD, amen.
Now for the truth: I was very firmly and most certainly set up to be disinherited. I thought I was safe with my confused visionary life privately from 2008 fully through 2015. But then, the outer darkness realm showed itself. I laugh a cruel laugh here. For you see, my human emotions knew what no person in my midst young and old could ever fathom about insanely not wicked me: I will drive you to your shame. Kids say it these days: I don’t care.
Not that it all mattered. For you see, it really doesn’t matter with me. I dwell where Jesus Christ tells me to dwell no matter which building, city, state, county, village, hovel, cave, and mountaintop He tells me to dwell there within.
I set up a place. He tells me where to set it up. I don’t ever leave. You do. That is because here is the other truth about this 51 year life: and, nobody who is older than my 51 years knows this truth unless the angels of God are told by King of kings to inform. You’ve got to be kidding me, people human being. Did you honestly think I was to be trifled with after all this time with the power of God in death stripping through my life like a volcano or tsunami?
Jesus Christ is always there with me. Always. What you did never went unseen by Him. That’s how you get nine years of confusion in the Old Jerusalem of Israel and the New Jerusalem of Israel that was not Austin, Texas.
When it got real bad, Apostle John would take me to the remote Island of Patmos all glory to God and in Jesus Name, amen. You never hid anything, America. You only thought you did. The Thief came long ago. You never knew. I do.
But even that information cost me as the Beaty in the fracas of time which rendered a little property in Austin, Texas with a testimony destroyed wholly. I’m an author. I could sell. Nope. Nope–that’s not my line of work.
I don’t have any work. I’m not cursed with that. Only males whom Jesus Christ worked for over 2,000 years to free from the slavery of death and destruction are included as Sons of God forevermore (Revelation 14 alone).
You should have been more careful with this Little Sister right here in my dining room finishing this article. (It is 3:52 PM Central time in Austin, Texas. Oh how nice. I’ll be 52 come April 14, 2018 all glory to God and in Jesus Name, amen. Your girl friend is back and so is her allegory.)
You turned my children against me. Did you honestly think I was going to leave them in the persecution of the number ten you placed them within, oh America? No mother ever leaves her children, really. Now fathers, they are too busy with cursed work for me to be able to say that. amen.